My apologies for this being a bit depressive, morbid, shitty outlook lease on life (we’ve all felt this way, one time or several, if you haven’t, well luck you I guess…..)
You know that saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade“? Currently, I feel like life is giving me rocks. Your guess is as good as mine as to what the hell to do with rocks other than move them if I can. Because honestly there isn’t anywhere for the rocks to go, except behind or beside. Which when you put rocks beside you or behind you they just sort of cage you in making escape almost impossible and quite frankly there is no turning back. Life is work yes, I understand this 510%. What I don’t understand is why do I feel as if I’m having to start over and over and over and over… you get the picture.
I passed comment the other day to someone that I had come to the conclussion I needed to be a cockroach and hide till after everyting and everyone dies off. Their response, “What if someone steps on you before then?” My response, “Then I guess good riddance, means I wouldn’t have to wait around, I’d be already gone.” Morbid and depressing, I know, but this is just how my mind seems to process everything. Often I’m asked if I’m ‘happy‘. The honest answer is no, because I don’t know what will make me happy. I’d wager to say I’m somewhere between ‘content‘ and ‘okay’, but there are no words really to describe it.
I’ll leave you with these questions to mull on: Are you truly happy? How do you know you’re truly happy? What contributes to this happiness?
Talk soon. 🙃
FOREIGNBYSTANDER 